Post-Adoption Contact Between Birth Relatives and Your Child
By Deborah Dentler, J.D., and Audrey Susanin, Harvard Law Student
Adoptive parents often wonder about contact between their adopted child and birth relatives.
Statistics show that a slight majority of older adopted children wish to receive information about or have some contact with birth parents or siblings. However, most children adopted from foster care do not have such contact, and you should not feel pressured to allow your child to communicate with birth relatives if you object for any reason.
It can be frustrating to find supportive information to guide you as a fost-adopt parent. Most books and websites on topics like post-adoption contact and “search and reunion” are based on experiences of those who adopt privately and enter into “open” adoptions where contact is desired by birth mothers. These resources have limited usefulness to the world of foster care adoption.
All foster-adopting parents should be aware of the legal issues surrounding post-adoption contact in order to make an informed decision about what, if any, contact is best for their child.
Will visitation with birth parents continue while I wait for my adoption to be finalized?
Visitation for birth parents almost always ends by
court order when parental rights are terminated, but
visits can be permitted by court order or informal
agreement. As an adoptive parent, you call the
shots once the adoption is final. And though you
have no obligation to allow post-adoption contact,
some adoptive families enjoy (or at least tolerate)
visits or exchanges of letters and photographs when
they decide it enhances their
child’s emotional well-being.
Such arrangements can be handled
informally or by a postadoption
contact agreement.
What is a post-adoption contact agreement?
A post-adoption contact agreement is a written legal agreement entered into voluntarily by birth relatives and the adoptive parent. It allows for contact (visits, phone calls, e-mail) and/ or exchanges of information or photographs between your child and a birth relative after the adoption is finalized. These agreements cannot be imposed on parents adopting a child from the dependency court (foster care) system, but a birth parent, social worker or attorney might urge pre-adoptive parents to enter into one if it would help persuade a birth parent to agree to adoption.
Social workers, adoptive parents, and children may have very different feelings about postadoption contact agreements. Social work professionals approve them because they can help reduce delays and because many professionals in the adoption field favor “openness” in adoption. (See Adoption.org for this perspective.) Many children, if told about the possibility of post-adoption contact, will claim to want it—regardless of whether such contact is in their interest or not.
Fost-adopt parents should not enter into a post-adoption agreement without careful consideration. However, it is important to keep in mind, that such agreements are not irreversible. Adoptive parents who have consented to a post-adoption agreement have the right to change it or to seek a court order to revoke it if circumstances change. In California, a post-adoption contact agreement can be voided in court at the adoptive parent’s request (other states laws vary).
Can a birth parent seek to overturn a finalized adoption if I change my mind later about allowing contact?
No. Your child’s birth parents cannot go to court to “undo” a finalized adoption if you refuse to abide by a visitation agreement. In California, this applies to both private and foster care adoptions. If your adopted child is discovered post-adoption to be a full or part Native American child, and the child’s social worker knew this and failed to notify the tribe early in the case, in very rare cases a tribe can reverse a finalized adoption.
Once my adoption is finalized, will birth parents be allowed to send letters, photographs or information to my child?
Birth parents are not allowed to contact (visit, phone, email, or send letters) your child without your permission. Although birth parents cannot send information to your child directly, the California Family Code gives birth parents the right to send letters, pictures, current address, and telephone numbers to your child’s file at any time. If your child wishes to access these communications, he or she can do beginning at age 18.
Is it true my adopted child has a right to find birth parents upon reaching age 21?
If birth parents wish to be contacted by your child, they can send a written consent to your child’s adoption agency file. If they do so, your child can learn how to contact them when he or she turns 21. Additionally, birth parents can file a request to receive information on how to contact your child when the child turns 21—if your child consents. Birth parents will not receive this information unless your child wishes them to.
What about “reunions” between adoptees and birth families? Who can help my adopted child find and meet his or birth relatives if desired?
The Post-Adoption Services office of your local county agency (in L.A., it is DCFS) arranges reunions between adult adoptees and birth relatives who have signed consent forms, which stay on file in case the adoptee wants a reunion in the future. When your child turns 18 (or 21 for sibling contact), he or she simply signs a notarized consent for contact. If both your child and the relative wish to reunite and their forms are on file, the agency will help. If only one party has a consent on file, the agency cannot contact the other party. There is no time limit and reunion services are free.
A free “reunion registry” is available to adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents to help people search for one another, such as the International Soundex Reunion Registry.
Note: Legal opinions expressed are the columnist’s alone, not Child SHARE’s, and nothing in this column is intended to substitute for professional legal advice for a specific situation.
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